Monday, February 10, 2020

Where I Landed In The Kobe Aftermath


I couldn't watch any news about the crash and sudden death of Kobe Bryant until later that night. Someone on the street told me and I had to pull over. Sobbed off and on all day.... all week.... Lost sleep.... Partly, because for 20 years of my life... our lives... he's been a "part" of it.  But mainly because, years ago (around 2014?...) I read an article about Kobe Bryant that gave a glimpse of the masterpiece inside his HEAD, and I have never been more impressed with a human being in my LIFE. I have since looked for books for or about him and sadly found none.   Now, we have "The Mamba Mentality", which should be an engrossing read, but before now, I gleaned what I could from Sports Ilustrated articles and the works of Phil Jackson to get some peripheral insight into Kobe.  I thirsted to learn more of the "blueprint to greatness" that has been transcribed on the strands of Kobe's DNA.

I felt Kobe was the singularly most ferocious, focused, smartest, supernatural ENTITY on the planet! And, when I had the privilege of getting to see him play live in L.A..... he played like no one I've ever seen before. And that says a lot as a witness to the Chicago Bulls Michael Jordan dynasty... who I've also seen live. Ofcourse, they are LEGEND, but Kobe... even on the downward slope of his career, played with the quickness, energy, and jaw dropping precision of a CHILD prodigy! As quick and furtive as a SQUIRREL!!! It's something I will never forget. 

But, his MIND. His will. His determination. His laser like focus despite ANY nuclear attacks launched at him... That seemed to set him apart.  NOTHING could get him off his square! NOTHING. On or off the court. I felt so OVERCOME by the seeming "unfairness" of losing someone so EXCELLENT. His all around GREATNESS is unmatched by pretty much anybody in any industry, in any field. Except maybe Tiger. Legendary coach, Phil Jackson (who I also love), put it in a way that only Phil Jackson can: "Kobe was a chosen one—special in many ways to many people. Our relationship as coach/player transcended the norm. He went beyond the veil." Like I said, Kobe was a SUPERNATURAL entity.

I also had to realize that the shock was even more extreme for me because he's always looked just like my nephew. Or rather, my nephew always looked just like him. And, for the brief season in which he played basketball, he even played like Kobe. Getting this news about Kobe, and seeing their melded faces, infused me with an undercurrent of fear and made me enormously grateful that my nephew is still here.

Then, I learned that Kobe's daughter was with him and I cried for Vanessa having suddenly lost HER child and husband. I thought of her other daughters now without their father and sister. The baby, who just arrived like, six months ago, who will never know her father... the grandparents... the families of the other people on the plane... that he finally could spend more quality time with his family and now.... spending quality time with his daughter... It's just been too much to take in for many of us, I'm sure. And this crash.... witnesses say they heard sputtering and the sound of it falling.... just falling out of the sky...
Too many emotions. Too many questions. Too much loss.

But, I couldn't help but think of the fable, Icarus.  The character in Greek Mythology who desired to go beyond human boundaries, and the tragic consequences this brought about.  In an interview with Ice Cube, about Kobe, he said something that made me think of it all the more.  Cube said, "Kobe wasn't just satisfied with God's given talents.  He wanted to even be better than the talents God gave him."

Interesting.

It's one thing to want to BUILD on the talents God gives you, but to want more than what God gives you?... Where are you going to get more?

Then, his childhood friend and NBA Hall of Famer, Tracy McGrady tearfully shared that as a young, the then unmarried player, Kobe used to declare "all the time" that he "wanted to die young".  To become better than Michael Jordan, then die young so he could become "immortalized".

Hmnnnn....

And so, here we are.

The police, the fire department, the news crews... everybody was grounded that day, but Kobe's plane took to the air anyway.

There are a LOT of questions, for sure.  No Terrain Awareness system... no Black Box... witnesses hearing sputtering before the fall... but Icarus wanted to push the boundaries of mortality too.  The sun was getting hotter and hotter.  More and more feathers were "sputtering" and falling away.  But he too flew higher and higher... til the sun melted his wings and he fell.

Our arms are genuinely "too short to box with God" as the title of the gospel play proclaims.

Kobe was always a personality that wanted "more".

And, in many ways, he got it.

 BRILLIANT. Charismatic. Literally and clearly a bonafide genius.

Multilingual.

International.

Determined. (He studied the game and each and every opponent like a thesis. He took Tap dancing lessons to strengthen his feet and ankles and improve his footwork...)

Refined (In one championship game, Kobe structured his performance and the strategy of the game to the rhythms of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. In a 2017 interview, Kobe explained, “Every game has a structure, just like a piece of music has structure and momentum. You have to be conscious of how that momentum is building to be able to shift or alter it.”) 

A successful businessman.

A forward thinking visionary. 

An Oscar winner.

Author.

Dedicated family man.

Otherworldly athlete...

But, after a week or so of reflection, I'm forced to ask the age old question:  "What profiteth a man should he gain the whole world and lose his soul." -- Mark 8:36.

In this life, we are faced with countless choices.  The whole Bible is a book of choice.  Are you going to choose Me or choose your flesh?  Are you going to choose Me or choose your fears?  Are you going to choose Me or choose death? 

"I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: 20That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them."  -- Deut 30:19-20

When you want "more than God", you're entering into dangerous waters.  Not just for you.  Not just for now.  But for your seed.  Your CHILDREN.  And for eternity.  The glamour and glitz cannot compare to the "Glory" of God.  And, when He has Graced us with such lavish gifts... to then try to rise above the bestower...  there is such a high price.

There is another famous entity that tried to rise above his Creator.  Interesting that he met a similar fate.  "I saw Satan fall like lightening, from heaven, " Jesus witnessed.  While even the only begotten Son of the Father remained in a submitted position to His Creator...  the blasphmy of pride would provoke a mere created being to seek to usurp His Glory.

It didn't work then.
It doesn't work now.

Jesus sufferred, but was RAISED UP, incorruptible!   Offering eternal Salvation to all who would receive it.

Only when we are full of ourselves and the "love of the world", are we blinded to the true riches of our creation. 

God tells us to:
15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.  -- 1 John 2:15-17

It's one thing to make the most of the gifts God has given us.  That is our duty.  But, it's a slippery slope when we instead submit in worship to the altars of THIS WORLD that puts US on their thrones.

And, isn't it interesting that the "Mamba mentality" is named for a serpent?  Wasn't it the serpent that first turned mankind away from God?


Even arriving at all this, I still grieve the loss of Kobe. I still feel like I lost a family member. The beautiful, brilliant, beloved, charismatic, superstar of the family. The one whose shine rubbed off on all of us and made us all feel like a part of his greatness. Like the child we watched grow up gone too soon. Conflicted by the realization that while we were watching, we somehow missed that he was focused on something we completely missed. That his commitment may have been to something so much deeper than "us". So much bigger than basketball.

And this was the melting point. Where his wings gave way beneath the heat of the Son.

Let us be careful of our affections and our allegiances.

That is where I have landed in all of this.

Be careful.
I was so moved by this, I just felt it was worth putting on my Blog.

All of us go through life with hidden hurts, smothered guilt, and sometimes limping along with near crippling shame, but nearly all of us "put on a happy face" and pretend our relationships are ok, our actions and inactions are ok, and indeed, WE are "a-ok"!

But, I believe Dennis Rodman got a standing ovation for this speech because it spoke to ALL of us as "walking wounded".

This is the "real-est", the "raw-est", and the most moving award acceptance speech I have EVER heard! No longer an flamboyant "oddity" to me, I see and FEEL his complete humanity. God Bless him!


...And the Stars Shine Brighter... Kirk Douglas dies at 103

Whether we realize it or not, these icons meant a lot to ALL of us. Inter-generationally... inter-racially... the images they represented lifted our spirits collectively, even if unconsciously. We may never see movies or "movie stars" of this ilk again, but their legacy will live on.

As I learn of the passing of Kirk Douglas, I'm reminded that I had the privilege of praying for and over another icon, Charleston Heston, when his health was faltering. He had been bedridden and mostly sleeping. But, when I laid hands on him and began to pray (Yes. I got to lay hands on Moses!  ), he opened those famous, lucid, blue eyes, turned his head toward me, and fixed that famous Heston gaze directly into my eyes. Even in his declining season, there was a "sharpness", a "light", a "power" behind those eyes, imbued by the Holy Spirit (He was a Believer and his whole nursing team were Spirit-filled Black women), that was inextinguishable and responded to the Power in The Word of God.

He held my gaze throughout the whole prayer (and my prayers aren't short. lol). His nursing team forming a cirlcle including me, holding hands around him. Then, with the chorus of "Amen" at the conclusion, those famous blue eyes softened, a slight smile formed over his smooth, lineless face, he closed his eyes, turned his head back to his side-lying position, and went back to sleep.

The nurses urged me to come back regularly but I didn't have that opportunity. And, I felt too that God had used me in that moment and The Holy Spirit could continue to do the rest.

I was struck that even at 84, his skin was beautifully smooth and it looked like the hand of God rather than a plastic surgeon to me. I was struck that as his time was counting down to his final visit here in this plane, this legendary, worldwide icon, recognized the power, the truth, the excellence and the love of a team of Black women who were doubly armed with medical expertise, but above all, a direct connection to the Throne room through fervent, effective prayers, to Our Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ. And, I realized that perhaps, indeed, it was THIS SPIRIT that made him THE only one to play the immortal role of Moses-- The only one who actually beheld the Glory of God. God knows who His servants are.

Life has an arc, but gratefully, there are those whose arc can be extended just a little farther by the magic of film. When it's used to uplift, like Mr. Douglass's "Spartacus" and like so many of these old films did, it reminds us that we too, can reach beyond our natural circumstances and become bigger. Brighter.

So, I'm saying thank you to Mr. Douglass and that entire generation of "movie stars" that encouraged us to "reach for the stars".

God Bless you!